so i got a shitty truthbox thing, the first one ive ever gotten haha ! it entertained me for a minute hahah !
but its whatever, i got bigger shit to deal with
& i took a step back & i realized Conner has been the one thats been getting me through my shit lately. hes just funny so he gets my mind of the bullshit, & he helps me get through the shit i CANT get my mind off of & i know hes got my back if i need someone. if someone would have told me hed be one of my best friends when we first met, id think they were fucking crazyyyy ! but im glad things are the way they are between us now :] this ese is loco ! & he thinks birds cant smile haha ! i actually wrote him a poem today because i got THAT bored in class haha ! shit was peerrrrtyyy homo ! ahah ! mann oh man ! & plus he keeps me duuuper entertained while im in class & DONT wanna pay attention & hes the only dude i know that would actually get up BEFORE dawn to come with me to the other end of the world juuuuust because :D & hes got maaad art skills :D
the people i love, know who they are. some of them needa get their shit straight, but its ohkaye, i still love them. people go through hard times right? maybe this is one of those, i just hope it ends soon "/ if not, then well everything happens for a reason, every mistake teaches you something, & every hurt makes you stronger.
i wish you werent being so fucking wierd.
i dont even know what the fuck happened! this shit sucks.
i miss you "/ & he does too.
come back & be how you used to be.
i really do miss how things used to be
you actually used to be there for me & you actually used to come to me for shit.
we used to hang out every freaking day & now we dont even talk!
i dont like the new __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ __ at all.
at least TELL someone whats up !
this whole being confused shit aint workin for me.
i was thinking about life & you know what i thought of?! life is like driving. if you suck at it youre gonna crash & burn & if you do, how fast you get back on the road depends on how hard you crash & how much you know about your situation. if you wanna be in pole position [first car at the light] you need to work & get ahead of people & try your damn hardest & take risks, or you can play it sneaky & sneak past people. you need to look for spots that other people wouldnt see. if you wanna be one of the first cars, you gotta push harder than you ever thought you would. the speed limits people of authority give you, haha yeah, those are meant to be broken and doubled. why not take risks?! everyones gotta reach the end of their road someday, you never know how far everyones gonna drive. so why not make the road their fun? when you feel like quitting, you just gotta stop & get some gas and maybe some work done. the more you put into your ride the more youre gonna get out. life is exactly like driving. now that i came up with that, i love life<3
i live to drive & i drive to live
theres no better feeling that having that full tank of gas, rolling down the freeway, passing cars that roll up on you, with the wind blowing through your hair with the music blasting, if you wanna think you can, if not its ohkaye, let driving take over. & feeling all the power kick in when i push it in third then pull the shifter to fourth is one of the BEST feelings in the world. i swear nothing could ever compare with the way driving can make me feel better.
you know what?
im fuckin done with this
i aint tryna act nice when YOU fucked up a HUGE part of my life
im cutting the losses & learning to appreciate the ones who actually matter a little bit more
seriously though, wtf?! how are you gonna try & play all nice after you fucked up one of the things i love most?! & you fucked it up all because youre fucking psycho! i tried to be nice afterwards & quite frankly, i cant fucking do it anymore! im not playin nice, fuck that shit, i tried & you took advantage of it & went even MORE psycho HAH ! im done.
i have the ones i need & theyre the only ones i will ever give a shit about. i have a my select few females that i need in my life & the ONLY boys i ENJOY having in my life would be my dad, my brothers, conner, tyler, JR, voytek, narsi, evan, & a few others from CSN. seriously though. dudes aint shit. you can replace them just as easily as i can light a fuckin cigarette. end of the fuckin story.
mann oh man !
i like having space & doing what i want now :]
a few of my friends wanna "celebrate" by getting me hiiiiigh & i have NO objections ! :D & plus i havent legitimately been drunk in a whiiiillllleeee haha THATS about to change too ! :D
so once i finish cleaning i am gonna go hang out with conner haha ! i swear last weekend me & him spent three days of the weekend together & this weekend we have hung out every day that has passed hahah ! :D i love this kid :D but i do NOT love cleaning "/
but it must be done haha !
the people i want closer feel like theyre drifting away, while the people i want to give me some space, keep getting more invasive
im confused as aaalllll shit & it pisses me off "/
i guess im excited for thanksgiving
but iiiii durno. this shits confuuusing !!!
who wants a bleeezy?!
that would be kixxy!
i swear, without a certain three people [RSI] [CDH] & [TCS] i would go UP the fucking wall !
these three are honestly my best friends <3
enough said
:]
when i leave brush my teeth with a bottle of jack cause when i leave for the night i aint comin back [;
haha ! last night in the car was HILARIOUS !
keep in my conner is using a big scary deep ass voice
& kixxy is not haha !
conner: on mah mommah
kixxy: on mah hoood
conner: i look fly
kixxy: i look goood !
bwahah ! & "you make me smile like a bird"
& today was a day with my boys
haha tyler & conner crack me up !
:D
ilovethem !
:D
they made me artwork for my room
so now my car & my room smell like spraypaint !
XD
ilovetheseboys !
so last night was prettyyy dope ! haha !
alright so me & stasis were feelin kinda ewh so we went to DQ & piggggeeddd outt haha ! thenn i dropped her off, went to walmart, called conner & he had to drive his brother to his friends house then he was gonna go get voytek but i decided i would go get voytek since i was just kickin it in the parking lot, so i went & got voytek then we went to walmart, shopped for a bit, got mcdonalds for his brother whose doin the homeless retreat thing so we had to sneak the food to him haha ! we felt like badasses ! ahah! then we went back to walmart, walked around the shopping center, got orange julius/dairy queen then tyler called & said he was getting off work early & we all had plans to go see 2012 so we were like okaye ! then we all went back to my casa & then tyler decided he wasnt gonna do, so we all got mad & i hid his keys & voytek hid his shoes haha ! then he didnt notice for a minute, but then i got my head stuck in his crotch while he was tryna choke me out & get his keys back, fuckin gross right?, then he got his kys back but then while him & conner were taggin up my room & bathroom, i hid his keys again then he didnt notice, but when he was about to leave he tea bagged me again, then he had to look for his shoes hahah ! then when we got outside [it was already too late for the movie at this point] he sped off & me conner & voytek all get hellah mad then to make things better he texts us saying "call of duty :D" he was hellah around the corner though ahha then we all went to taco bell, chilled there for a minute, then went outside, & the same dude we see at every taco bell rolled up with his friends & tyler started bumpin his music & after like an hour the guy workin in the taco bell looks at our cars & picks the phone up so we all get hellahh scared & dipp the fuck out because we cant get arrested at this point in our lives haha, then we roll to the skatepark where we met up with their friend marcus & right as voytek goes "isnt park curfew early?" all the lights go out & the marshall was driving by so we dipped out again & went to the park in my neighborhood & just chilax & tell wierd sex stories HAHAH ! then as i was about to head out to take voytek home, tyler decides he wants to flash me his WHiTE ass ! & quite frankly, im scarred for life haha !
best friday the 13th ever !
:D
ilovemyfriends<3
maaaaann oh man ! :]
today was definitely funn ! :D
so it started out as me calling anastasia, then i went to get her, then we went to get conner & tylers christmas presents, then we went to the mall, then conner came & hung out with us, then alex came to hang out too ! thenn anastasia had to leave [booo !] thennn ! me conner & alex went to be fatttiiieees then we went & got jacob a new skateboard since he broke his, then we went to amazing art, where i gave conner his xmas present, then we went back to our side of town [well me & conners side haha] then went to the skatepark with jacob & ben, then tyler rolled up & i gave him his xmas present too! :D then we hung out at the skatepark then went to taco bell ! :D then tyler let me borrow his beloved lil waynes new mixtaaaape ! :D
im happy ! haha
i got to hangout with my favorite white boys & i got lil waynes new mixtape on my ipod ! :D
ilovemyfriends!<3
